She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
