we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
