my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
