I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
