don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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