I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize