so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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