ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
