i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
