Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize