how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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