At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
