My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it because I queefed?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
