My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize