How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
