if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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