You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
