My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
