on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize