im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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