I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
