Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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