We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Enjoy the penises
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
