apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
