My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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