He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
