how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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