Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize