Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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