She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
