He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
