In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
