wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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