shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
