You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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