i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
