Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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