Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
