Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize