drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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