Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
