she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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