Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
