i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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