I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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