what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
