I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Let's get the cat blown out
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
