Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
