We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
