Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
