Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
