Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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