Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
