i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
