Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
