U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
