I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
