do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
