Four minutes until I can fart!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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