STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize