He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
