Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it hurts more in the daytime
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
