He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
