Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
