He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
