You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
