I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
