I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
