Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize