maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
