you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
