i think my mom watched the whole time
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That accounts for only three of the penises
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
