you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
