I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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