we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
