Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
