She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The police scanner is talking about you again....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
